Tanggal 25hb November 2009....
Jam 9.00 pagi
Satu berita paling menyayat hati telah gua terima.Insan sangat2 gua sayang telah menyahut panggilan Ilahi.Innalillahiwainnalillahirojiun..
First sekali Hp gua berdering mangalun kan lagu cari jodoh band Wali.Saat itu jua hati berdegup kencang..Dah memang menjadi kebiasaannya begitu..Kerana nada dering itu gua set kan untuk ahli keluarga.Sejak mak sakit batuk2 tak berhenti dulu sejak itu la apabila mendengar deringan Hp ini membuatkan jantung gua bertukar irama..Biasa nya akan kedengaran suara-suara adik beradik ku berbicara..Tapi hari tu lain..No Hp yang terpapar adalah nama abah..Tapi suara abah tidak kedengaran..Gua cuma dengar suara esak tangis..
"kenapa abah, Kenapa?"
masih juga tidak ada jawapan..Esak tangis jugak yang kedengaran..
Hati gua makin tak sedap..
"Abah, Bagi telefon kat orang lain, biar orang lain yang cakap!"
tak puas hati gua..
Dan kedengaran suara kakak ipar yang lebih muda 4 tahun dari gua.
" Mak dah takda, balik la Aman."
Waktu itu kaki gua dah tak boleh nak berpijak lagi di bumi..Rasa longlai..rasa sangat kekosongan..Musnah sudah impian gua nak hantar mak ke tanah suci buat umrah..Kenangan bersama mak berselang seli dengan impian, gelak ketawa mak..
Mak seorang yang suka ketawa juga..Dan suka buat orang ketawa..Sangat menghiburkan..
Boleh kongsi apa saja cerita..Dia sangat berfikiran terbuka..Gua boleh share ngan dia segala2 nya..Masalah kerja, masalah GF dan macam2 lagi la..Mak sudi jerk dengar..Sekali sekala bergurau nak menyejukkan hati anak nya ini..
Gua bagi tau staf gua yang mak gua dah takda..Gua nak balik..Terus gua ke kereta..Agak lama juga berada dalam kereta dengan enjin kereta yang berhidup...Kosong..Tangan gua menggigil..Gua bermimpi kah?Kemudian mata gua mula berkaca...akan jatuh kan air mata ini..Tapi mak tak bagi gua menangis kalau dia takda..itu pesan dia..Kalau nangis dia seksa katanya..Jadi gua cuba tahan..
" Mak..Napa Mak pergi?"
Jatuh juga air mata gua..Lantas gua beristifar..
" Maaf Mak jatuh juga air mata anak mu ini "
Perlahan gua gerak kan kereta gua balik ke rumah.Kemas baju apa yang patut..Pakaian bekalan untuk raya haji sekali...
Kereta gua pandu dengan tidak ada perasaan..Rayban gua kena kan supaya tidak nampak air mata gua gugur satu persatu...Gua bermonolog sendirian dalam perjalan..Kerana memang itu lah yang akan berlaku sekiranya gua ingin melepas kan perasaan..
"Mak, Mor tahu mak dengar..Mor tahu mak nampak anak mak ini sedang bersedih..Mor tahu mak akan ke syurga...Dan anak mu ini akan sentiasa mendoa kan Mak.."
Air mata gua terus mengalir..Sms takziah dari kawan2 bertali arus..Terima kasih yang tak terhingga atas doa2 kalian..
11.00am
Sampai di perkarangan rumah gua..Ramai orang..Macam ada kenduri kahwin..alhamdulillah ramai orang datang tengok..Masih tenang...Tengok abang yang sulung..Sugul..Abang ngah..Biasa jerk..Adik..Biasa..Adik yang perempuan bengkak mata menangis..gua masih lagi kat bawah..lom naik ke atas rumah..Ramai sangat orang..Kedengaran orang perempuan sedang membaca surah yasin beramai-ramai..Kumpulan yasin mak..
1130
Gua naik keatas..Gua lihat sekujur tubuh..
" Emak " dalam hati..
Gua amik surah yasin dan gua baca perlahan-lahan..tidak terlalu laju...tidak terlalu perlahan..
"Emak suka dengar mor baca surah yasin " kata-kata mak semasa dia sedang sakit..
Sesekali gua tenung muka mak yang di tutupi kain putih yang jarang..tudung mak barangkali..Mak belum mandi..Gua lihat muka mak macam orang tido..Semasa sakit muka mak sangat sembab..Bibir membengkak...Tapi mak sangat lawa pagi ni..
" Lawa Mak " dalam hati gua.." Alhamdulillah"
Menunggu adik perempuan yang dari kl balik..Dah dekat nak sampai..Kat luar hari nak hujan...
Syahira sampai...
" Terima kasih sayang sebab datang " dalam hati gua..ingin senyum tapi gua tak mampu..
" tu ha..ummi dah berlari2 dah tu " suara sapa gua tak tahu..Adik gua yang baru tiba dari KL..Mata bengkak..menangis dari kl barangkali..Meluru naik ke atas rumah..Sendu tangis..lantas gua cakap kat pada dia..
" ummi "...lalu gua buat isyarat jangan menangis..Perlahan-lahan dia cuba mengawal perasaan nya..Lalu di buka nya kain yang menutup wajah emak..Dia ingin mengucupi emak..Dengan hati2 takut air matanya jatuh ke muka emak..
1230
Segala peralatan mandi sudah siap..Air pun dah di sedia kan..Lima orang anak lelaki emak mengangkat mak..
" Jangan mandi kan mak lama-lama..Mak sejuk " Dialog mak masa dia sakit sewaktu dia nak mandi..
Proses mandi sangat mudah.Tidak ada najis barangkali..
230
Proses kafan selesai..
Memberi peluang yang terakhir pada anak2 untuk mencium emak untuk kali yang terakhir..Semasa kafan air mata gua tak mahu berhenti untuk mengalir..
"astaghafirullah, maaf mak sekali lagi anak mu menjatuh kan air mata "
Emak akan di bawa ke masjid untuk di sembahyang kan..
Ramai juga di masjid orang yang menyembahyang kan mak..
315pm
Sampai sudah emak di tempat persemadian yang abadi...lima orang anak lelaki emak menyambut emak di dalam..
" kena kan hidung mak ke tanah " arahan seorang pakcik..
"ya kalthom bte Sariah ".......................
Talkin di baca...Semakin jauh emak meninggal kan gua...
30hb nov 2009
Gua menaip blog ni...rasa hati yang kosong..Tidak ada lagi tempat gua bermanja..Tidak ada lagi orang yang akan dengar keluhan gua pasal hidup..
" Mak, hidup ni susah kan mak?"
Mak senyum jerk....Al-fatihah...
Monday, November 30, 2009
Monday, November 02, 2009
Betul ke??
Got this thing from my friend blog...
Betul ke??
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Betul ke??
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
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